so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
