Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
