either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Randomize