either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I lost the right to judge tonight
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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