Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
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