dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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