After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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