ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
