It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
my sisters under your porch take her home
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize
