Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
