So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Randomize
