that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
