Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
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