You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
