i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
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