Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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