if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
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