Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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