I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
