Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
she looked like the before picture.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
