Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
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