Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Randomize