I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Randomize
