Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize