at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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