And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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