So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
It's no shave November. This is our time.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
