Tell her she can't have a vagina
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
