His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
