Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
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