I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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