I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
