i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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