I can't watch pbs sober anymore
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Randomize
