I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
love makes seman taste better
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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