My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Its about making memories worth repressing
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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