Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
