Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
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