If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
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