singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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