he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
