So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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