the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
