I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
