Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
