Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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