sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
