i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
