Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Randomize