I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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