Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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