you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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