I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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