For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize
