im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
