Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
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