You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
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