You can't special order awesome
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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