her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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