babies were throwing up all over the place
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
don't judge my taste in strippers
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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