I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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