But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
