if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize