i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
