You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
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