The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Randomize
